Below Her Mouth

Below Her Mouth (2016)

 Movie

I'm not going to full on review or rate this movie since I didn't finish it. I guess that would make the rating:

 

As for why I didn't finish it...I don't like Ethan Zuko characters. If that name doesn't mean anything to you, that's okay, it shouldn't...yet. It's my own term that I use for a lesbian character that could easily be replaced by Ethan Hawke from any mid 90s movie role and/or Danny Zuko from Grease and the movie or TV show would be functionally unchanged, thus, an Ethan Zuko.

An Ethan Zuko is basically what a teenage boy thinks is the coolest thing to be. They typically don't care about anything, but are super into telling everyone they don't care, they wear a lot of black (often the same clothes/underwear waaaaay too often), they'll have a ride that would be considered super cool by a 16-year-old boy trying to get his license, random tattoos of varying importance, a mop of hair that they care a lot about but don't want to be seen caring about, and a "too cool for school" attitude that extends to at least one part, but often many parts, of their life. They're the basic bitch of bad boys and they were fucked out a long ass time ago.

"How can I make sure everyone knows I'm too cool to care?"

I bring up the Ethan Zuko, because "Dallas" (played by Erika Linder) from Below Her Mouth is a huuuuuge Ethan Zuko. The name alone is a dead giveaway--Dallas, right, that's your given name? Oh, no, it's a taken name! As in look at the cool name I've taken and will now shove down everyone's throats. Dallas is a giant creeper. Open the movie on her having sex with someone, and she's way too cool to enjoy the sex, so she's aloof, distant, weird, and the scene turns into a giant gross out of emotional abuse of a sexual partner.

Cut to Dallas at work, and she's a cat-calling construction worker (roofer)...I mean, what? She doesn't really participate with the guys harassing the woman who is going to be her love interest, but later you find out, those were her employees she was joking with. Yep, she's on a roof, watching her neanderthal employees harass women on the streets, and she's smiling and making sex jokes with them.

This is an important point to state this movie was written and directed by women--whatever the fuck that even means with characters like this

Next up, a party scene where Dallas runs into her new love interest, Jasmine (I wish I were kidding about the names) and follows her around being really, really, really (put 50 more reallys here if you want accuracy) creepy. Woman walks away, Dallas follows her. Woman turns, Dallas gets in her way. Woman ends a conversation, Dallas jogs over and restarts it. Woman stands against wall, Dallas pins her to it...this is what passed for suave in leading men 50 years ago, why the hell is a lesbian trying these moves in a 2016 movie? Real talk, Dallas should have gotten pepper sprayed in the party scene. Remember the whole "how to actually talk to a woman wearing headphones" bullshit guide from last year? Yep, Dallas read it and lives her life by it. (that's not a link to the actual guide--I'm not advertising for those idiots--it's a Guardian article dissecting the insanity)

Dallas goes home with the bartender instead (seriously, check the IMDB, that's her name: BARTENDER), then Dallas is a total jackass to BARTENDER the next morning, and then goes to the love interest's house to pester her with more stalker behavior. FYI, she's been wearing the same underwear and sports bra THIS WHOLE TIME. She was on a roof in the sun, working hard for several days in a row...wash your sports bra? Nah, that's a once a month thing for a roofer! When I realized Dallas encouraged her employees to harass women on the street and probably smelled like old cigarettes and rancid bra sweat, I turned the movie off.

The good...there's a bathtub masturbation scene with Natalie Krill that's hot. If you can look past the fact that she's playing a fry-voice fashionista named <gag> Jasmine, it's kinda sexy. 

Below Her Mouth is a 1 hour 34 minute highly problematic movie in which an Ethan Zuko pursues a cliche with a stripper name in ways that would get most people arrested. I made it about an hour before bailing; the movie may have redeemed itself in the last 34 minutes, but I kinda doubt it. It has a pedestrian 5.6 out of 10 on IMDB and a blowful 21% on Rotten Tomatoes. Currently available on Netflix Streaming, Amazon pay rental, and iTunes for purchase.